Erebor and Khazad-dûm

So after our...shall we say detour?...to Evendim, we finally got to Rivendell. In secret of course. Uncle Thorin would have a fit if he knew we went against his express orders. We saw him a few times though, from afar. He looks troubled. And the way he nearly never leaves Bilbo's side makes me worry as well. Is your beloved Hobbit sick? Is that the reason they ventured to the Last Homely House? For Elven medicine?

Let it be known that I do not like all this secrecy. It seemed somewhat fun at the beginning but now it is starting to weigh heavily on my shoulders. I love and respect uncle too much to risk his ire like this. Yet ... what choice do we have, really?

But when we went to see Bilbo...Uncle Thorin had once again been called away for an important meeting...he looked fine. Well, as fine as an ageing Hobbit can possibly look. I am afraid that he will not be with us for much longer, but I will not tell Khee about it. He loves Bilbo so much, and to lose him...it would break my brother's heart. Not to mention Thorin. He would be lost without his consort by his side. I think the day Bilbo will leave us, will also be the end of the King under the Mountain. They have been together for so long now that they cannot be without the other any more. It frightens me.

And so you write about your worries here? When you know I've sneaked into your journal before? Brother!!! My heart is, indeed, breaking now. To think ...

No. I cannot.

But for now Bilbo is fine, even gave us one of his fabled riddle games to play, and Lindir joined in happily.

I'd rather the twins have joined us.

We didn't stay for long in the valley though. We were too worried Thorin might eventually find us. And thusly, we once again crossed the Misty Mountains and the River Anduin, passing into Mirkwood. Oh brother, what were we thinking? We had decided to not go near Thranduil's Halls, once again for fear of being seen. But to the south, near that accursed tower, evil reigns. Spiders and the Undead have made a home for themselves and do not suffer any Free Peoples amongst them. Which meant we had to fight our way to the other side of the forest with hardly any reprieve for sleep or rest.

It was nasty business. It saddens me to see the Greenwood overwhelmed by such evil. Still, I'd like to think that we decimated a good few of the eight-legged monstrosities.

And then we reached our journey's end and... It nearly broke both our hearts. Dale was overrun by Easterlings, and they lay siege upon our Mountain. Balin is defending Erebor valiantly, but I fear for its survival. So we took up arms again, and we fought. And gained assurances that no one would breathe a word to Thorin about us being there. But we both felt it. Both knew that this was the reason our uncles wanted us safe in the Ered Luin, and we...we went against them. I never felt so undeserving of being Thorin's heir.

Yet, at the same time, being Thorin's heir gives you reason enough and a right to be there, defending what will someday be yours to rule. With me by your side, if I have a say in it. I would not see our uncle's precious mountain fall from the hands of our people once more. We are seasoned warriors now and very capable of holding our own. If I wish to lead our armies in your name one day, how can I do that if I cannot be allowed to fight alongside them and gain their trust? You cannot let these negative feelings rule you, Fhee. Your place was there, alongside Balin ... every bit as much as it was Thorin's place, had he been around. And my place is ever at your side.

After the battle in Dale...this is what we were born to do, defending our home. But at what price?

We didn't stay after the fight for very long. Somehow, we both knew it was time to leave. Again. After we had fought so hard to return. So we left. But not for the Blue Mountains. No. Khee had the brilliant idea to check on the progress of the retaking of Khazad-dûm. Yes, apparently some idiot dwarves thought it was a great idea to go see if the Balrog was still around and kicking. All I can say is: Madness! Which is probably why we joined them. Because we are mad. Or rather, Khee is and I'm here to look out for him. Uh-huh. So right now we're sitting around in the Twenty-first Hall not doing all that much. And Kili is getting drunk with his new mate.

My place is with you, brother. And so I left ... but I cannot say it wasn't without a conflicted heart. It felt like leaving was the right thing to do, considering. Yet, at the same time, I felt an urge to stay. One that I simply cannot explain. I hope to not live to regret our departure.

Ah, yes. Moria. Utter, madness. Just our kind of troublesome mess. Admit it, Fhee ... you love when I drag you on such crazy adventures. It keeps you young. Almost my age! And I was not getting drunk. I was getting smashed! Well-earned respite after diving down the well and fighting our way back to the Chamber of Crossroads. Didn't see the Balrog though. We should go explore further into the deep. What say you?

His new best friend...not sure if it's the dwarf at his back, or the goat to the right...

Going East

I have it on very good authority (Balin blabbed to Dwalin who told me) that we were NOT send to Ered Luin because of something Kili did. I have to say I'm both shocked and relieved at the same time. Dwalin also said that Gandalf had been visiting with Uncle Thorin and Bilbo on numerous occasions in the past couple of years (how did we miss that?) and that the wizard has his hands in this council business as well. However, Dwalin either didn't know more or wouldn't say.

See? I told you! Pffffttt! Shocked and relieved. Nonsense! Relieved, I can understand. But shocked? That's just plain insulting, brother. 

 

So after Dwalin couldn't (or wouldn't) tell me any more...and I swear, if it's the later he'll be sorry. You don't go around treating your partner like a dwarfling...age difference or not! Anyway, after there was nothing more to get out of Dwalin, I decided to sneakily move eastwards again. First, we found ourselves in Bree, with some Ranger called 'Strider' or something like that. Weird guy. His bed was quite comfy though and I took a little nap while Kili distracted him. 

Nothing more to get out of the veteran warrior? Really, Fili? Clearly, you need to invest yourself further. Shall I make a few suggestions? 

I get the feeling those two know each other, though how would Kili know a Ranger when I don't... Maybe they met in Rivendell on one of those occasions when my baby brother was visiting with Rohir and I joined Elladan and Legolas for a hunting excursion. I love Kili dearly, but I don't need to see him make doe eyes at the son of Elrond.

Ah yes. Strider. Friendly fellow. Rather serious, though. Yet his heart is pure. It must be, considering whose affection he has managed to draw.

I love you too, Fee. But do remember that I am not the only one who makes doe eyes. Especially as of late.

Later on in the Barrow-downs, Kili finally admitted that I was both older and wiser than him and bowed before me as I was sitting on my new throne. I'm so taking it with me, and Sambrog can cry in a corner.

I did? Poor Fili ... Sambrog really did give you a nasty blow to the head. But that is a nifty throne. Doubt it will fit in your room, however. How big are Dwalin's quarters?

Unfortunately I made the mistake of letting Kili lead the way after I was done stroking the arms of my lovely throne and got Eagle Air to pick it up and deliver it to Thorin's Hall for me...and instead of ending up in Rivendell, we wound up in Tinnudir! How wrong can you be at finding your way, brother?!

I meant to go there, of course. I am in the process of scouting out a few vacation spots and Evendim sounded rather lovely. Wouldn't you agree, after seeing it firsthand? I can lead us to Rivendell anytime ... why the rush?

  Lake Evendim...seriously? After our last adventures involving water?!